


Never Letting You Go

by froppii



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Anime, Bleach - Freeform, Canon Compliant, F/M, Ichihime - Freeform, Manga, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Thousand Year Blood War Arc, RenRuki, Soul Society Arc, Timeskip, renjixrukia, rukiaxrenji, rukirenji, so how bout that 20th anniversary surprise guys, subscribe if u want more angst, this kinda sucks but eh, why are titles so DiFfIcUlT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froppii/pseuds/froppii
Summary: Something was off...someone's reiatsu was off. Renji's reiatsu was off.-He sat on the edge of his futon, tears rolling down his cheeks."Renji? Renji, why are you crying?""I had a dream," he said, "about that night.""The night that-""That we brought you back, yeah."~~~In which Renji is an angsty, lovestruck dumbass, Rukia's bullshit detector is stronger than ever, and wE're having a bAAAAAAabyyyYy.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia, Inoue Orihime/Kurosaki Ichigo (Mentioned)
Kudos: 35





	Never Letting You Go

**Author's Note:**

> ok i know i said i would write ichihime next but oops, guess i lied, take these angsty idiots instead  
> This one IS canon-compliant with the timeline (rukia and renji get married two years after TYBW arc, ichigo confesses to orihime after the wedding ceremony, and rukia has ichika the next year after)
> 
> i planned this at two in the morning, and when i was scrolling through my notes after i woke up i just see-  
> "TIMESKIP yooo that's pretty wizard mate"  
> who knows  
> hope you enjoy :)

_~One Year After the Quincy Blood War~  
_

Rukia woke with a start, her violet eyes flying open as she shot up in bed. Something was off...someone’s reiatsu was off. _Renji’s_ reiatsu was off, she pinpointed.  
  
This late at night, his reiatsu normally felt so...carefree. Serene. At home. It was easy for Rukia to reach out to him, quickly lulled to sleep by his calming spiritual pressure. But tonight, it was _definitely_ off. It was chaotic, agitated...tormented.   
  
She rolled off her bed (almost fell off would be more accurate) and threw on the top layers of her shihakusho, her lieutenant’s badge falling to the floor as she rushed to get dressed. She tied on her waraji, then flash stepped out of her room and the Kuchiki manor.   
  
~  
  
Rukia paused for a moment, leaning against a wall to catch her breath after so many consecutive shunpo. She ran down the hall of the Squad Six barracks until she reached Renji’s room. His shōji was slightly ajar, a small sliver of light peaking into the dark corridor. She felt Renji freeze from the other side of the door, sensing her spiritual pressure. Rukia slid the door open.   
  
“...Renji?”  
  
Renji was sitting on her edge of his futon, head in his hands. He looked up, noticing she was there, wiped at his cheeks and turned his head away.   
  
“What are you doing here, Rukia?” he mumbled.  
  
“Well, I- something was wrong with your reiatsu and I just... Renji? Renji, why are you crying?”  
  
She rushed over and sat down next to him, wiping at his cheek with the sleeve of her kasode. He pulled his head away.  
  
“Renji, what’s wrong?” she asked in almost a whisper, heartbroken to see her best friend in this state.   
  
“Nothing, just...” he trailed off. “Forget about it. It’s stupid.” Rukia shot him her signature Don’t-Give-Me-That-Bullshit look.  
  
He sighed and brushed his thumb over the small scar on her cheek, the scar that would’ve barely been visible to anyone else. The scar he had given her. The slight shine and discoloration on her smooth, fair skin was a constant reminder of what he’d done to her.   
  
“I had a dream,” he breathed, pulling his hand back.   
  
Her huge eyes blinked up at him, silently urging him to continue.  
  
“It... was about that night.”  
  
She placed a hand on his arm. “The night that-"  
  
“That we brought you back, yeah.”  
  
“Renji, I already told you I forgave you a long time ago.”  
  
“I know, it’s just...” Renji looked down at his feet, swinging them back and forth. “it’s everything that happened _because_ of that. I brought you back here, brought you to your death. And I can’t help but think about what would’ve happened if Ichigo had shown up a second later. That would’ve been _my_ fault. We hadn’t spoken in _decades_ , and when it sunk in that I didn’t take the chance to talk to you when I had it, to just catch up and see how you were doing...the fact that instead, I stripped away all your honor and dignity and just threw you in a cell in the barracks...that got me scared. I thought that- that I was gonna lose you and we would never have the chance to go back to the way we were-“  
  
He stuttered again, his eyes brimming with fresh tears.   
  
“I didn’t know what to do.”  
  
Rukia leaned her head against his arm. “Renji, you can’t blame yourself for something that didn’t happen. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m here and I forgive you, okay?”  
  
“I-I got stronger so I could make up for it and protect you from anything, but then in Hueco Mundo, after your fight with Aaroniero, when I thought I would lose you again... I couldn’t _do anything._ I had to wait for Kuchiki-Taichō to bring you back and hope to Kami you would stay alive. And then- and then I got to thinking it was my fault somehow, that if I was stronger, I could’ve protected you.”  
  
“Ren-“  
  
“-I swear I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, his voice small. Tears began spilling down his cheeks again and he buried his face in his hands. “I hadn’t realized how it would be. I only did it so that the Captain wouldn’t look down on me. I just wanted his respect. I never meant to hurt you.”  
  
“Renji-“  
  
“The fact that I chose my pride over...over _you_...I was so disgusted. I never-”  
  
_“Renji!”  
_  
She reached up and grabbed his chin in her hand, turning his face so he was looking at her.  
  
“Look at me!’’ Once she was sure he was listening, she let go of him. “You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself, it’s not fair! You went through hell just to get here and now you’re putting yourself through more for no good reason. I was never angry Renji. I knew what was going to happen to me from the start, and I knew why you did what you did.”  
  
He sighed, then wiped a tear off of her face that she hadn’t even noticed was there.  
  
“None of it is your fault. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t understand why you always have to be so _horrible_ to yourself!”  
  
Rukia could tell she was starting to yell, but she didn’t care. This idiot needed to learn that he deserved _so much better.  
_  
“Now look who’s crying,” Renji teased.  
  
Rukia sniffled and threw herself into him, her small arms not quite reaching all the way around his broad frame. Renji enveloped her in his arms and buried his face in her raven-colored hair.   
  
“What did I do to deserve you?” he sighed.   
  
"Stole some candy and screwed over an asshole merchant,” Rukia mumbled into his chest.   
  
Renji chuckled. They embraced each other in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence and the familiar feeling of the other’s reiatsu.  
  
_“God, I love you.,”_ Renji suddenly breathed into her hair.   
  
Rukia looked up at him, her face full of surprise and confusion.   
  
Renji froze, just having realized what he said. He pulled away from her, sitting stiffly on the opposite end of the futon, his face bright red.   
  
“You...do…?”  
  
He started stammering incoherently, looking at anything but her. He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt her soft lips graze over his cheek.   
  
She scooted close to him and wrapped her arms around him again, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.  
  
“You big dumb oaf.”  
  
Renji smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head, pulling her closer.  
  
_I’m never letting you go again. I promise._

_~Two Years Later~_

  
Rukia woke with a start, her violet eyes flying open as she shot up in bed.  
  
She turned over and looked at Renji, her long black hair falling over her shoulder.  
  
He was sitting up against the headboard, clutching Rukia’s Captain’s haori to his chest, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. She moved close to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, gently prying the haori out of his hands and setting it next to them on the bed.  
  
“It’s alright Renji,” she cooed, her voice almost a whisper. “I’m okay, I’m right here. I’ve got you, okay?”  
  
Renji wrapped her in a tight embrace, and she dragged her fingers through his bright red mess of hair.  
  
“Sorry I woke you up, Ru,” he muttered.  
  
She punched him lightly on the back. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop saying that?”  
  
Renji chuckled and pulled away, gently smoothing a hand over Rukia’s rounded out belly.   
  
“Well, if I don't apologize, she'll never learn to be respectful. _Someone’s_ gotta give her some lessons in manners if she ever hopes to get along with your brother, right?”  
  
“If they do, that ‘someone’ certainly won’t be you, _lowly peasant._ ”   
  
Renji rolled his eyes and gave her a chaste peck on the lips.   
  
“Uh-huh, whatever you say, _Kuchiki-sama.”  
_  
She laughed and punched his shoulder.  
  
“Hurry up and get to sleep. You’ve gotta get some rest for Inoue’s engagement party tomorrow.”  
  
She slid back under the covers and turned so her back was to him. He snuggled up close behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist. He rested his chin on the top of her head.  
  
“And you better stay sober. The baby and I aren’t dragging your drunk ass all the way home from the world of the living.”  
  
_“Heh_. You got it, boss.”  
  
Renji closed his eyes and let all of his senses fade away, basking in Rukia’s reiatsu.   
  
_I am never letting you two go. Ever._

**Author's Note:**

> just now realizing that I did make one timeline error- Rukia wouldn't be a Captain until about 5+ years after Ichika is born, but it was just a minor detail thrown in so \\_(._.)_/


End file.
